Sounds of Metal, Sounds of Acid
by Mikel Midnight
Summary: Britanotron, the Transformer assigned to protect Great Britain, pairs off with a human-made robot to defeat a mysterious threat.


Nova Prime looked at the wreckage of the planet Xandar, the planet which had been under his protection. Nothing remained but a few scattered satellites. If he had had tear ducts, he would have wept. He knew the attacking Luphomoids had been manipulated by the enemies of his people, the Decepticons, and that only made the emotional wound cut deeper.

He began to prepare his body for its return to Cybertron, when he found himself interrupted by the approach of a figure unlike any he had ever scanned. It seemed to be made of solid light, yet humanoid and closer in appearance to the Xandarians than to his own race of inorganic Transformers. Was this some new weapon of the Luphomoids? He arrayed his weapons in the direction of the newcomer. "Identify yourself," he said.

The newcomer raised his hands in a placating gesture. "I am Mastermind, come as representative of Otherworld."

"I am Nova Prime, bearer of the Matrix of Leadership of Cybertron. What do you seek, beyond coming to witness my failure?"

"It is thanks to your efforts that many of Xandar will continue to live on. They will cherish your efforts, and one day their own champions will bear forth your name in battle."

"You speak with surprising assurance of events not yet known," Nova Prime said. "What else do you see?"

"I see your redemption," Mastermind replied, "on a small green planet called Earth; it is situated strategically between many empires, and the Decepticons are planning a major offensive there."

"My responsibilities are to the Matrix. I can divert no more of its energies to local battles. I must look to grander schemes."

"And yet, I sense within you the qualities uniquely suited to the battle ahead. I make this proposal to you: we together construct a new Transformer using both Cybertron and Otherworld technology. It shall have your own psychic engrams as templates for its personality. We shall name it Britanotron, after the land it is to protect."

"I accept your offer," Nova Prime said after some thought. "And may we each learn from each other in this collaborative venture."

Mastermind did not report all he knew of Nova Prime's future: his philosophical transition to expansionism and species supremicism, his falling into the Dead Universe and transformation by the Darkness which dwelt there into the fearsome Nemesis Prime, his final betrayal by Galvatron and destruction by Optimus Prime. And yet, due to his own efforts here, he knew that the good in Nova Prime would live on.

* * *

Britanotron loved the streets at night.

He reveled in his disguised form of a streamlined automobile, running through the British highways as he patrolled in circuits around London. That had led to many startled looks in the early days of his career as a protector, and he had on occasion allied with a human resident to act as a 'beard,' though following the last high-profile attack on the part of the Decepticons his mirror-windowed appearance was typically assumed to be a vehicle associated with one of the nation's various security agencies.

Finally he heard the reports on the police radio about what appeared to be an immense robot wrecking havoc near Tower Bridge. He transitioned into his fully operational Cybertron form and took to the air, and when he neared the bridge his optical sensors detected a grey, humanoid shape hurtling in the air towards him. He recognised it with its spraypainted markings immediately: Android Andy, the first and most successful creation of Professor Anton Simes, reverse engineered using fragments of Cybertronian technology; an impressive feat given the humans' own significantly inferior level of technology.

He caught the figure in his arms and lowered them both towards the ground. "Andy? What happened?"

"Android Andy meets Junkheap," the metallic figure said, its vocal articulations primitive compared to Britanotron's own. "Bang! Bad for Andy. You come help Andy now. You come with Andy to Tower Bridge!"

Britanotron nodded, "Hold on tight, then. We are taking off."

The primitive robot clambered aboard Britanotron's back. "Must hurry. Soon everything to end. Boom!"

Britanotran took to the air once more. "Andy, you said you met a ... Junkheap? And that is what did this to you? What did that mean?"

"Junkheap that walks like man. Andy had to leave rave. Pain in the neck."

"A ... rave? Oh, that is what you call ... parties at people's houses? I thought that was considered old fashioned now?" The vagaries of human trends were beyond the alien robot.

"Acid house never die! Speed speed ecstasy!" Somehow the artificial voice managed to sound simultaneously indignant and crazily enthusiastic.

"Yes, well." The pair advanced on their goal and Britanotron gazed perplexedly at the sight below him. "Yes, I see what you mean."

As they talked, a gigantic being composed of what appeared to be domestic appliances, discarded machinery and other rubbish, rampaged down the Embankment. It seemed to evolve as it traversed the streets, apparently acquiring a high tech living arsenal the purpose of which Britanotron could only guess at. As an array of security forces fired on the creature, it attacked them in return, reaching down to grab one of the fleeing officers.

"Drop Andy off," said his ally, "You do rescue." Britanotron flew closer, dropping Andy atop the creature, and the latter began hammering away at it with powerful blows. Distracted, it loosened its grip on the officer, enough for Britanotron to free him and fly him to safety. He looked back, appalled, to see the monster crushing Android Andy's legs and tossing him to the ground like a discarded doll.

He flew over, "Andy ... by the Matrix, are you still operational?"

"No fear," Andy waved one of his arms dismissively.

Britanotron looked down for a moment, regretfully, then at the sound of screams took to the air once more to battle the Junkheap. He saw it firing some manner of beam at the police, causing their vehicles and whatever unfortunate humans were caught in its path to immediately decay. Activating his Otherworld-tech forcefield, he flew into the weapon's path, and then extended the field causing the beam to backfire. The creature emitted a squeal which sounded like pain, and stumbled backwards against the Tower Bridge.

Britanotron flew forward once more to press his advantage. The Junkheap retaliated by firing a beam of intense heat directly at the remaining policemen, as if knowing that its opponent had a vested interest in protecting them. Britanotron had no choice but to once again block the beam with his body, taking the full brunt of the blasts.

With alarm, he noted a change in his external sensors. The beam was intense enough that was heating the air inside his forcefield, and he felt the temperature of his outer shell increasing.

He fought his way up the heat beam, edging slowly closer to the creature. The ceramic coating on his armour began to bubble, and he wondered whether he was capable of the task ahead. He hoped if Optimus Prime needed to replace him, that his successor would care as much for the Isles he had come to love so much.

He saw a fuel tanker trundling down the road across the bridge, and fretted internally, wondering how he would possibly be able to save its driver. He was almost distracted from his struggle by the sound of a distant voice. "Andy ... " it said, increasing in volume as it came closer. "Android Anarchist Andy the Acid Angel ..." He saw that his ally had somehow managed to wire his upper body directly into the engine of the tanker, and was directing it like some sort of bloated centaur. The fuel tanker collided with the junkheap. "MAD MENTAL CRAZY!"

Britanotron did his best to shield himself from the ensuing explosion, Otherworld-enhanced perceptions desperately seeking out the location of the android amidst the flames. He swooped downwards, scooping up the charred body. "Andy ... that was ... crazy ... "

Android Andy's voicebox blurted erratically *BZKZT* "Professor Simes ... repair ... "

Britanotron placed him gently down, "I'll take care of you, but there's something I have to do first." He flew back into the inferno, piercing into the heart of the monster, and found what he'd intuited must be there. Tearing it out, he returned to the dockside, contemptuously dropping the remains of the other robot down next to Andy.

"Friend of yours here?" Android Andy asked. "You carried him whole way."

Britanotron shook his head, "Hardly a friend. His name was Acid Storm, formerly a Rainmaker, now evidently one of the Decepticon's Pretenders ... Transformers who have an inner robot secluded behind a protective outer shell."

"Acid Storm," mused the other. "Ironic."

"Ironic indeed," Britanotron replied. "But the evolutionary technology this shell displayed is new." He lifted Android Andy's torso back up. "I must notify Optimus Prime of this new potential threat." He took to the air once more, very disturbed.

* * *

Britanotron, Mastermind, and the Junkheap that Walks Like a Man trademark and copyright Marvel Comics Inc.

Android Andy trademark and copyright Alan Moore; Andy's dialogue derived from Grant Morrison's treatment of Robot Archie in "Zenith."

Nova Prime and Acid Storm trademark and copyright whoever owns the Transformers.


End file.
